I recognize that most people have character flaws, not just others but most certainly myself as well. Today one was pointed out that has in the past caused me extreme difficulty.

I am impatient, and jump on the quickest way to get the thing done as quickly and efficiently as possible. This is not always what is best.

For instance, today I wanted to help get Angel and her primary to their flight as easily and efficiently as possible, but missed that I was not wanted to be part of the airplane dropoff, causing me and her both distress as I struggled to understand what head done wrong, and crossed her boundary.

I hadn’t recognized it as a boundary and violated what I should have understood as not acceptable behaviour. There were two things that I should have done differently, one got the driver going to her and two, went to bed as I had been instructed to do.

This impulse to be visible serving was not ok behavior. It was improper, poor behaviour and I regret deeply that I caused any distress on their part as well as my own, not understanding what I had done wrong.

Four years ago, I had behaved similarly, and it had caused a rift between us. Why did I do this? That is still something that I am trying to understand. I think the language used should have been clear and it’s possible I missed the no don’t come, I screwed up, I came.

Can I learn from the bad behaviour to be a better sub in the future? I certainly hope I can, or I fear that I will always be stuck wanting and being disapproved of, locked out because I am me focused instead of you focused ma’am.

Can we move past this in the future?