I can’t force people to love me or want to connect with me, it has to be a desire and willingness to connect and to love. I can tell them that I love them but only they can accept that gift, i can’t force it on them.

I am patient and I am kind. I am also lonely. My cup is only partially filled as I write this and IT sucks. Guilt is not what I am looking for as I write this but rather understanding.

I am feeling lonely because unlike my demi-sexual partner(s), my connection style is presence in my life, regular, as well as expressions of affection like kisses and love notes as well as getting tackled from behind into bed for some impromptu sex. I desire a physical connection because without that physical it feels intangible.

So with this in play, it is beginning to become evident that I am in the driver seat to find my fulfillment, and what I keep saying is come find me, I am waiting. I am not expecting anything out of this except I hope it will ease things while I wait for an interminable time. Its okay, I am patient…

To a point. I did express some dissatisfaction and am left holding the key to the cage and being told to go find some fulfillment in masturbation or playing with another person in a SSC way. The discussion was hard and it hurts to hear, but I am okay and know why it may need to be this way.

I did mention that there is love involved, and yes emotions as messy as they are can get in the way as well as help ease the wounds we have given each other. Some self inflicted because emotions are dangerous and feelings have been bruised.

The only thing I have left to ask is this, come home to me when you are ready to be with me, and leave the worry about everything else slide for the moments we are together.

You are Loved