I know that I’m interested in someone out of reach and don’t care they are uninterested. How can I acknowledge my feelings and continue to walk by as the friendship strains as the feelings remain but aren’t reciprocated? That’s the question and concern I’m troubled with today.

It feels like it should be bad to continue to have romantic feelings about her but at the same time I promised not to abandon her, and out of love for her my feelings remain. Yes Angel I do love you, regardless of what you feel the love is still there. From when you first claimed me as yours.

I’m lost.

Are there any solutions to this for me? New different relationships haven’t changed what I felt for you Angel, it’s like my love is just as poly as you are. Ms Rika says there are layers to relationships we have and while we agreed to non romantic, it is challenging removing that romantic layer with our friendship.

It’s challenging on multiple fronts for me as there is a deep pain I’ve felt since 2020 when N forced things to separate us. Did I make the right decision to cut contact off? At the time it felt like my only way to protect my heart.

Now though, it feels like I’m in the scene in Tomb Raider with Lara Croft and Manfred Powel both striving to reach the top of the triangle of life, to change the past present and future to how I’d like it to be.

Love I’ve been told is a powerful force that can both create as well as destroy. I however hope that I am strong enough to continue to offer my love and support however I may and hopefully it’s a creative force in this instance, rather than a destructive one.